In which Pastor Nalliah 'splains hisself.

God: Attorney At Law

Pastor Nalliah's first post-election contribution to the Catch a Fire blog is titled:

Election 2007 - Did I get it wrong?

Yes, you did, Danny. Yes, you did.

Ordinarily you would expect someone who has been as comprehensively embarrassed by the facts as Nalliah to pack up his revival tent and slither away quietly into the night with what remains of the smoking ruins of his credibility. But Nalliah still has gallons of snake-oil to sell, and legions of gullible halfwits who are simply gagging for the stuff. And so he returns to "help you in better understanding the results of the Election 2007."

He opens with persecution mania and an appeal to pity. In spite of "the fiery storm of accusation, criticism and persecution," [INSERT BIBLE VERSE HERE], God has given Danny broad enough shoulders "to cop quite a bit of flak." Nonetheless, "the weekend of the election was one of the worst weekends in my life." Why? Because God's anointed vessel John Howard had just suffered a massive defeat in the polls, and to top things off, Nalliah's father-in-law in Sri Lanka had taken seriously ill. "Bible believing Christians struggle not against flesh and blood, but wrestle against principalities and powers of spiritual darkness," and Satan--the fucker--had just delivered the Nalliahs a double-whammy.

Immediately I said, “Lord, what’s happening?? How can I even rise up and preach Your Word?” But praise Almighty God, as we prayed together for my father-in-law, the Spirit of the Lord strengthened me to rise up and preach the Word of God. That night he miraculously recovered and is now doing very well. Glory to God!

After ministering to the people of God on Saturday night, I struggled to fall asleep in my motel room in Albany, Western Australia, as I was all alone, in tears and feeling very sad for most of the night. I kept asking the Lord, “DID I GET IT WRONG???”

Enter God to account for making Nalliah look like the Fuckwit Australian of the Year.

I said, “Lord, why is it when the Body of Christ comes together to pray for rain, You answer our prayers so quickly?” The words from the Lord came to me, “For My people are united when they pray for rain.” At this moment I felt so prompted to read the prophetic word from the Lord regarding the election that I released on 11th August 2007.

As I begin reading the prophetic word from the Lord, I was greatly stirred in my spirit to read the following words that I had stated, “I will boldly declare that PM John Howard will be re-elected in the Nov election – ‘IF THE BODY OF CHRIST UNITES IN PRAYER AND ACTION.’
Again I heard the voice of the Lord, “For My people were not united in prayer and action for this election. If they were, they would have experienced spiritual revival under My freedom reigning in this nation, but now My people have chosen another way. They have not voted for My will, but for self gain and personal change.”

The fine print, people! Always, always read the fine print! That's why Nalliah's prophecy didn't come to pass. Because not enough voters got with God's program and voted for Howard. Apparently, that's how this "democracy" thing works! Well, knock me down with a Chick Tract.

The level of disunity in the Body of Christ was very clear to me closing in on election day. I received emails and messages from many professing Christians who were voting for Labor and the Greens. I just could not understand how they could do that, as their vote could be a vote to change existing laws to give greater rights to same sex-couples, legalise Abortion on demand (up to birth), introduce Federal Vilification Laws (eliminating freedom of speech), stop Prayer in Parliament, force Christian schools to employ homosexual teachers under Anti-Discrimination Laws, and the list goes on and on.

It's not Nalliah's fault he got it so wrong. It's the fault of those Muslim-loving mealy-mouthed wishy-washy bleeding-heart liberal Christians who weren't willing to defend Biblical values (among which are included the denial of women's reproductive rights, discrimination against sexual minorities in employment and in law, and sectarianism in Parliament) by backing John Howard, God's choice for PM. And it's your fault, too:

Just for your information, the Labor Government refused to preference the Family First Party, and did all its preferences with the Greens. Now both Labor and the Greens are in bed together. DID YOU VOTE THEM IN????

They're in bed together, people!! And probably doing TEH GAY with each other.

But seriously: how can a church be so blatantly partisan--to the point where it is practically labelling as apostate those of its followers who didn't vote for John Howard on Saturday--and still maintain a membership? This is essentially what the good pastor is (or was) saying to his sheeple: You're not a true Christian unless you vote for Howard. Surely there are some among his flock who have taken that hint and told Nalliah (albeit perhaps in politer terms) to kindly go fuck himself? Maybe that explains the deleted comments on the Catch the Fire website.

All of this raises an interesting question. With Howard and Costello both out of the picture, which of the Liberals (because it could only be a Liberal) is God now backing to lead Australia to Christopia? Brendan Nelson? He did, after all, endorse the teaching of intelligent design. Tony Abbott? Silas?

Stay tuned until the next idiot rolls around the floor babbling in tongues to find out.

On the subject of the dearly departed (from politics), the final Search for a Scapegoat: