A meme about memes

Paul of Fishers, Surfers and Casters fame has tagged me on the topic of "Five reasons why I do/do not respond to memes." (I had to read that twice--take out the "do/do not" qualification and you have something reminscent of the liar paradox on your hands.)

1. Because little Kimberley Anne is dying of a horrible disease.
2. Because I have tried this twice -- the first time I made about $1,200, and the second earned me just over $2,000!
3. Because I will experience great sex within four days of receiving this meme, provided I send it on!
4. Because Carlo Caditt, an office employee, received the meme. He forgot it and a few days later he lost his job. He found the meme and sentit to 20 people. Five days later he got an even better job. Dolon Fairchild received the meme and not believing it, threw it away. Nine days later he died..
5. Because every meme I answer releases a soul from Purgatory.

I, in turn, tag yepthatsgold.