Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Brainless BB Blogging . . .

A few weeks ago I expounded a pet theory of mine regarding the selection of housemates for Big Brother seasons subsequent to "A Certain Primetime Incident:" that a "token lefty" would be always be thrown into the mix in order to . . . you know . . . stir shit up. I wondered who this season's Tim Brunero would be, and came up with Michael as the most likely candidate, based on his "bio."

Well, I was wrong. There is no token lefty this year. Michael has turned out to be a preening, arrogant fuckwit (in a house full of preening arrogant fuckwits) who only resembles previous token-lefties in his propensity to throw Merlinesque tantrums. And the most "left-wing" utterance to have appeared on the show thus far has come from the mouth of David, who in his spare time votes for the National Party. So there goes my theory. (It was, admittedly, a pretty silly theory, given BB's main demographic: politics just ain't their bag.)

So here's another one. I remember reading somewhere that BB seasons generally follow a certain formula: first the "bitches" go, then the "bastards" go, leaving the nice-but-boring housemates to duke it out for the main prize. (Case in point: last year's two finalists.) My theory is that the show's producers have decided to nip this trend in the bud by selecting housemates based upon their propensity to combine the worst character traits of the two nastiest housemates from 2005: Dean and Christie. A houseful of self-obsessed eye-candy with "big" personalities that range from obnoxious to repellent. It all makes for very watchable TV, especially since this season the producers appear to have decided to turn the psychological screws on the inmates--and a more deserving bunch I could not think of.

Except, perhaps, for Jade. Watching Jade trying to fumble her way into conversation in the house is like watching David Brent in The Office. It's excruciating and hilarious in equal measure: you can't look away, even though you desperately want to. And yet, her awkwardness is perfectly understandable given the awkward situation in which she finds herself: surrounded by insecure narcissistic Barbie and Ken Dolls who spend half their time bellyaching about each other, and the other half pointing out to all who would listen how "unattractive" she is. In short, she's back in high school being teased for being "fat and ugly." She's a drop of normalcy in a sea of silicone, and she's reacting to that situation in the same way that any of us mere mortals would. Of course, I could be wrong. And she did, after all, choose to be there. And it is just a TV show.