The Jew Files

EPISODE ONE: "Joos"

"THE FOLLOWING STORY IS INSPIRED BY ACTUAL DOCUMENTED ACCOUNTS"



"Do you believe in the existence of The Jew?"








"Logically, I would have to say "no.""





"When convention and science offer us no answers, might we not finally turn to the fantastic as a plausibility? Look, The Jew is everywhere! In Delaware, The Jew has been forcing Jesus out of our public schools. Recently, The Jew was found under Dining Philosopher's bed."






"So how does that explain the big noses?"







"This is the essence of science, you ask an impertinent question and you're on your way to a pertinent answer. But it's simple, really. The nose is where the Jew-chip is housed."







" . . ."





"You're seeing the pieces but you're not seeing the connection, are you Scully? The Jew has its tentacles in all sorts of pies: military, finance, the media. Entertainment. The Jew controls both sides of politics: red and blue! Can't you see how The Jew, shooting Jew-beams from its Jew-eyes, is preparing to infect us all with its Jew-ness?"






"Oy!"








"The Jew. They're here, aren't they?"





"Mr. Mulder, they've been here for a long long time."






UPDATE: Apparently my calling Dining Philosopher on his anti-Semitic rhetoric (there's no other way to describe it) means that I've got "The Jew."